Up Close and Personal

2011 - The Year That Was

2011-12-31T23:56:00.004+08:00

Looking back on everything that has happened to me this year, I must say that there are a lot of things that I shoud be thankful about. Yes, of course, there are things that brought me to tears. That's normal, I guess.

First and foremost, God. I admit, I don't go to church. I can't even remember the last time I went to one but I pray. I think He let me experience all those sufferings to remind me that He's just there and that I need to pay him a visit once in a while.

The man who loves me unconditionally. My ultimate spoiler. My Dad. I'll keep in mind all the things that you have told me when it comes to choosing a mate. "You have to check his assests and liabilities first. If he doesn't meet the expectations, leave him." I know it's just a joke but yeah, reality check, you have to. It's for your family's future. But what I'll always remember is when you said "Get yourself a good man na kayang ibigay o higitan pa lahat ng kaya kong ibigay sa'yo not just material things. You know what I mean." Indeed. Amen to that, Pa.

The woman who nags most of the time but for a good reason. My mom. I understand why you talk too much and maybe I got that attitude of mine from yours. Haha! Kidding aside, I idolize you in everything. Don't worry, I'm just enjoying my life at the moment. I'm still your baby, Ma! Period.

The two kids who ask me when I'll go back to Manila whenever I go home to Bataan as if they don't wanna be with me but always ask for pasalubong, Jason and Justine. We have a lot of differences because of our age gap and I'm always the one to adjust since I'm the eldest. Ang daya lang because you always have mom and dad beside you. But still, I don't wanna go back to Bataan for good. That's crazy! Hahaha!

My relatives especially my cousins. We seldom see each other but I know you're always updated through FB. Mga palihim na chismoso! Haha.

I couldn't believe that I'll be able to meet more than 300 people rolled into 26 batches in just 10 months of working as a trainer. It feels so surreal for me to teach people who are twice or thrice my age! I've had sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, moms, dads, and even kids! Yeah, I taught you guys the whatnots in the BPO industry but you taught me so much more than that. I know I have shortcomings and I thank you all for understanding. I appreciate and value the friendship that we've built.

My ever supportive buddy, Ate Jazz. I would love to put your whole name here but I know you're gonna kill me if I do! Hahaha! You're not just a friend to me but also a mom. I know you're sick and tired of listening to all of my whatevers and I appreciate that very much. You know everything. Thanks for always being there for me, for guiding me, and for giving me advices. I just wish that we can hang out in Robinsons Galleria some time! Ang hirap mong ayain 'pag malayo sa'yo! Nakakainis! LOL.

Mah boys! My ever dearest boy friends! The guys na isang text ko lang, andiyan agad. Jheric, J.E., Sonny, Anthony, and Louie. Wala na kasi si Romeo, eh. It feels great because I have brothers na napagsusumbungan ko whenever I'm down and scold me when I did something wrong.

Those random people that I met and random events that I experienced. Some are unforgettable and some are to be seen in the trash bin.

And the biggest thing that happened to me this year, AJ. I've experienced all the bests and the worsts this year because of you. Seriously, after what happened to us, I don’t think I’m in the right state of mind to get myself involved in another story. You're the best thing I never had yet the worst thing that ever happened to me. Pangatawanan mo 'yang desisyon mo. Ngayong wala ka na, siguraduhin mo lang na hindi ka na babalik or else, I'll do whatever it takes to have you back. Mark my word.

EVERY END IS JUST THE START OF SOMETHING BETTER. I've loved, suffered, realized, accepted, and learned a lot but I must say that I'm so thankful to everything and everyone who made their grand entrance and wonderful exit in my life this year. At dahil New Year na, kailangan ko na ng new (love, ehem) life!

Let's welcome the new year with a blast! Have an explosive 2012! =)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

Ree Chatroom

2011-07-28T22:28:00.003+08:00

Hey there guys! This page is gonna be the OFFICIAL CHAT TAMBAYAN of my former and present trainees!

Please use your nickname as your chat name followed by your batch number.

Example: gel-10

Have fun everyone! ^_^

**This is now used for their typing activity.**

Direct link here.

My Wins This 09/09/09

2009-09-09T20:48:00.001+08:00

It's a given fact that it's my 20th (Yes, 20th) birthday today but aside from that, there are a lot of things that I'm really thankful for this day. This is in chronological order so you'll have an idea of what happened to me today.

1. Got a midnight phone call from Gerald and Lloyd. First greetings for the day.
2. Still up at 1:00 am and received love from my UZZAP friends.
3. Woke up at 5:30 am and read birthday messages in my cellphone's inbox.
4. Mom hugged me when she woke up that she hasn't done for a long time.
5. Kuya Jay for picking me up a bit late than the usual. Got time to watch Unang Hirit.
6. Jennylyn and her pupils surprised me with a loud "Happy birthday, Ma'am Jenn!!!" when they saw me walking.
7. Ate Febie's greetings from above. I mean it literally.
8. Joana's while sweeping the floor and the parents who heard it also greeted me.
9. Ma'am Emily (principal) for letting us transfer from our classroom to the library. (Flood!!!)
10. One of my pupils gave me a pack of peanut butter flavored chips when he found out that it's my day.
11. My co-interns in OSES for cheering me up while doing the kids' costumes. Calming me down because they know that I don't like the ambiance THERE.
12. James, Jerico and Raymond's dorky acts.
13. Sir Hernandez sang the birthday song for me... just the last line. LOL.
14. My classmates' greetings in the "elementary manner."
15. Mrs. Alipio for the book. I just realized that it's my turn to report the next day!
16. Elena, Hercel, Roselle, Jenny, Cath and Jean for a nice game, snacks and drinks at Yana's. (With the special participation of James and Jerico. LOL)
17. Dad for calling and greeting me. He already left when I woke up so he just called me. He told me that I'm his favorite.
18. Mom and Jason for waiting for me so that we'll have dinner together. They don't usually wait for me when I go home a bit late so I end up eating dinner alone.
19. Mom granted my request for a tuna pie, spaghetti and chocolate cake. (Yeah, I'm shallow)
20. Rhon's sudden visit. Really unexpected. I was just supposed to check if the gates are closed when I saw him standing outside while the rain is pouring. He lighted up the "20" candle on top of the cake and forced me to blow it up. I don't really like doing those stuffs. Silly!
21. Finally, we talked about the rumors spreading about us. I thought he doesn't care about me and that he'll let me face it alone but what I'm thinking was the exact opposite. He told 'them' the real story but as expected, 'they' didn't believe it. At least, we already cleared our side.
22. Opened his gift wrapped in a personalized gift wrapper (really made me smile with the message on it) and it was a face towel that smells like him and a chocolate.
23. Tita Di's phone call all the way from Bacolod. (Just telling each other that we are both pretty! Hahaha)
24. Read all the online greetings that I got from my relatives, PSI friends, clanmates and other friends.

It's already 09/10/09 by this time. I just wanna say thank you to everyone who greeted me and made me smile. Now that I'm not a teen anymore, I'll try to act according to my age. Just try. LOL.

Thank you!!!

Tama!

2009-07-20T10:49:00.000+08:00

Just wanna say this.

May tama ako!

And I dunno if I should like this feeling.

For Him

2009-06-23T21:14:00.002+08:00

Just wanna share something.

A couple of months ago, he asked me to write a poem. I had a hard time thinking about what I'm going to write until something crossed my mind which is of course, related to what I feel. Here it goes:

Refrain

I wanna come to you

I wanna know if you feel my love for you

It makes my breathing still

Can’t feel even a single thing

I just look alright

But no one knows that I’m fainting inside

Even if I scream your name

The distance won't allow you to hear me calling

Flooded with regrets of not letting you know

How much I’m dying to be with you

I wanna refrain from thinking about it

But it just leaves me crying

I’m tired of saying the words “I love you”

There’s no use to say that alone

My sorrow over you keeps on getting worse

And I can’t stand it any longer

I feel like a fool

Coz sighing is all that I can do

If you'll consider me even just for a second

I’ll prove that you have nothing to loose

My heart dies coz of loneliness

How I wish you can fill this emptiness

Silently longing and caring for you

Hope that in the end, you will be the direction that I will go to

He actually told me that he'll make a song out of it but I doubt it. Sigh.

Mark the Calendar

2009-03-02T19:33:00.001+08:00

Okay. March 12 is my parents' 20th wedding anniversary and Mark Dave's (former classmate and singing partner) 20th birthday. Happy whatever to you guys!

But what makes March 12 more special is that it's the date where Super Junior will release their 3rd album. That's exactly one year and a half after they released their second album, Don't Don.

Just a week ago, there are a lot of rumors posted in their official thread in Soompi that their style will be very different from their previous songs and music videos; like they are going to be sexy, that they are going to wear suits, etc. But I guess they have done that before during 'U' and 'Marry U' times. Well, it's confirmed that this time, it will be trendy and polished.

Last February 27, members of Soompi and a lot of fans who have Kong waited for Leeteuk and Eunhyuk's preview of their new dance steps that they will use for their new song but SuKiRa ended without even showing the overly excited viewers what they wanna see. I also have Kong but I can't use it until I receive a confirmation e-mail from KBS. With that, they just know how to make their fans more excited!

I just simply love Leeteuk's new hairstyle. He looks 10 years younger! But what I'm looking forward to is Donghae's new look. Gosh, I'm too excited for him! Every SuJu fans are really anticipating their 3rd album. We're really expecting a lot from them; from their new style, the choreography and if Kibum will participate a lot in this album. He's too busy focusing on his acting skills so he doesn't get to perform with them in their recent performances. Too bad coz we miss seeing him on stage with the guys.

Pre-orders for their 3rd album are already available. It ranges from Php650 - Php1,750, depending on the posters and photobook included. Plus, I have to choose whether to get version A or version B of the cd. We still don't know what's the difference between these 2 versions and that's what we are still discussing in Soompi. I must grab a copy either of the 2 versions while it's still cheap! LOL.

This excitement changed my browsing habits. Before, I first check my mail then open Friendster and watch their videos on Youtube. But now, first is checking my mail then browse for the latest SuJu news in Soompi then the rest will depend on what's going on. LOL. I'm going crazy over here. This is really the first time that I got addicted this much to an artist, or should I say a bunch of awesome performers? LOL.

Countdown begins.
13eyond Your Imagination.
Hwaiting!

Worst Classroom Scenario Ever

2009-01-21T17:59:00.004+08:00

This is the worst day of BEEd III '08-'09.

Bakit ba kayo ganyan?! Porket pumasa kayo, wala na kayong pakialam sa mga bumagsak. Alam nating lahat na kahit saan tingnan, unfair 'yung naging grading system natin.

Saan ba kayo nakakita na swertehan ang pagkuha ng grade? Kapag nabunot ka sa recitation at hindi mo nasagot 'yung tanong na nabunot mo, you will get zero then 'pag hindi ka natawag, automatic na perfect ang score mo without any effort. And that recitation is considered as a quiz. Paano kung hindi mo talaga alam 'yung tanong na natapat sa'yo pero alam mo 'yung tanong na napunta sa iba? Hindi ba unfair 'yun? Oo, swerte kayo kung hindi kayo natawag dahil ligtas kayo pero kung nasagot niyo naman, alam niyo na karamihan sa mga nakasagot ay nadiktahan lang ng sagot ng mga nakaupo at nakikinig.

Ayaw lang magsalita ng ibang classmate natin na bagsak din dahil alam nila na most of the passers are the "powerful" ones in our section. My point is, wala kayong karapatan na sabihin sa amin na we deserve to fail kasi ginusto namin 'yun dahil hindi kami nag-aaral. Sino ba ang may gusto na bagsak ang makuhang grade?! Nagkataon lang na "sinuwerte" kayo at "minalas" kami. We agreed na magkaroon ng quiz na panghatak ng grades namin at pinili namin na i-retain 'yung high at perfect grades niyo instead of back to zero lahat para wala na kayong masabi then may possibility pala na bumaba rin 'yung grades niyo kung hindi ninyo mape-perfect 'yung quiz. Sino nga naman ba 'yung gustong bumaba kung nasa taas ka na? You will not be afraid to take the quiz kung alam ninyo na deserving kayo for that perfect or high grades. Patunayan niyo na lang na you guys deserve what you got. Just put yourselves in our shoes. Hindi ba masakit marinig 'yung mga ganoong klase ng kritisismo? Worst is that maririnig mo pa iyon sa mga tinuring mo na kaibigan. Hindi ko akalain na just to save yourselves, magagawa ninyong manlaglag ng kaibigan; kung tinuring niyo nga na kaibigan.

To make this clear, I'm not questioning our instructor's authority and teaching abilities. Tulad nga ng napag-aralan natin, may mga kanya-kanyang teaching strategies at techniques ang mga teacher. 'Yun lang ang masasabi ko.

One more thing.

Prior to this issue, may mga nagsabi na sa akin na galit kayo sa akin dahil sa tindi ng pagtatanong ko sa defense niyo ng business proposal. Ito lang 'yun, eh. Bakit kayo magagalit kung alam niyong you did your best? Isa pa, I don't think na nagbigay ako ng mahirap na tanong kasi you were able to answer it. 12 pa lang 'yung sumalang kanina. Ganoon ba kayo kasigurado na pare-parehong "mahirap" 'yung tanong na ibabato ko?!

If you will question me kung bakit nasama ako sa panel, it's all your fault. I am the class president at hindi tayo nagkaroon ng election for that. I was just assigned. Alam kong noon pa lang na ayaw niyo na sa akin dahil sabi niyo, marami kayong nakikitang mali sa akin. Sana noon pa lang nag-object na kayo na ibigay sa akin 'yung posisyon. Ang problema sa inyo, ayaw ninyo ng responsibilidad kaya pumayag kayo.

Sana lang maisip ninyo 'yung mga sinabi at ginawa ninyo. Nakakasakit kayo. Sa pagkakatanda ko, wala akong pinakitang hindi maganda sa inyo. I admit na nagmamataray ako minsan sa classroom but I don't think that it's enough for you to act like that towards me. I always consider your opinions and I always think about your welfare pero ganito pa 'yung isusukli ninyo sa akin. This is the second time na ginawa ninyo sa akin 'yan pero pinalagpas ko 'yung una. Masyado akong naging mabait and that's my mistake.

Doon naman sa iba, I treated you as my real friends. I helped you with all that I can. I just did not expect na kayo pa mismo 'yung manlalaglag sa amin. Ngayon, sabihin niyo sa akin na wala kaming karapatan na maging emosyonal nang ganito?! I'm not asking for anything in return. 'Yun man lang sana na i-comfort kami would be a big help for us kaso wala, eh. Ok lang 'yun sa akin. Hindi ko na inaasahan 'yun.

I'm not saying this dahil bagsak ako sa mid-term sa isang subject or to ask for sympathy but for me to release the pain that I'm bearing. We are future educators pero bakit ganito 'yung ugali na pinapakita natin? Teachers should practice fairness pero kung ngayon pa lang, ganito na tayo, paano pa kaya 'pag nagtuturo na tayo? Hindi ko kayo nilalahat pero ganyan karamihan, eh! Sabi niyo nga, majority wins.

I'm just really disappointed.

Suju: Can't Get Enough of Them!

2009-01-11T15:51:00.002+08:00

Okay, I know I am ages late in knowing them but what can I do?! I love them!

Last week, the sisters, April and Apple, came to my house for some chit-chats when they mentioned to me this Korean boy group, Super Junior. They gave me a copy of their 2006 reality show Full House and after watching it, I must admit, I instantly loved them.

I watched their music videos, movie (Attack on the Pin-Up Boys), performances, CF's (commercials), guestings and all that stuff and I am totally hooked up. I'm not yet done actually. Prior to that, I have seen the video where Charice Pempengco sang with the 13th member of SuJu, Kyuhyun, but I never thought that after more than a year, I will be addicted to them. Singing, dancing, acting, song writing, name it! They can do them all. My favorites are Lee Donghae and Kim Kibum. I also love Henry Lau of Super Junior M. He's damn cool when he's dancing while playing his violin.

They are my favorite Korean artist next to Jeon Ji-Hyun of My Sassy Girl. I just hope that they will also be well-known here in the Philippines. They make me wanna learn Hangul! I love them though I don't understand them much. LOL.

Saranghaeyo, SuJu!

Gone

2008-12-20T22:38:00.008+08:00

"Why?"

That was the question that bugged my mind after we parted ways last night. After all these times, after more than two years of being crazy over him, I just suddenly felt that it's gone.

Unlike what I expected to feel, I just saw him as an ordinary friend. I forgot that he doesn't eat meat because I ordered a whole grilled chicken for the four of us. I wasn't even interested when he told us about his new experiences in his work. Things were not the same as before. I got bored.

Maybe it's just that I've really had enough and I've already diverted my attention to other things... more important things. There's always a positive side of being too busy.

I've deleted some of my entries here regarding him. I don't want others to know how crazy I was over him before and I guess that it's also the reason why I'm still single! Hahaha.

Moved on. Indeed. Finally.

Keith

2008-10-31T14:23:00.003+08:00

Just days ago, I found myself sooooo addicted to Jesse McCartney. As in I downloaded all of his songs on Limewire and watched his videos. I dunno what entered my head. I just find him really damn hot sexy. LOL.

Yesterday, as I am watching one of his videos, I came across a comment about him dyeing his hair brown and it says that he did that for the movie “Keith” so I got interested and decided to search it on the net. Then I’ve read in an article that it’s an independent film which was released last September of this year and there’s no way that it will be in theaters. The only way for me to see it is by watching it on the internet. Luckily, someone uploaded it on Youtube. Sweet!

At first, it seems that it’s boring and weird like if it’s not Jesse, I’m not gonna continue watching it! But as the story goes, I found myself smiling over the cute scenes and cry over the romantic ones.

Keith’s character, played by Jesse is a jerk and a weirdo who tries to hide something about his life which was later on discovered by a well known girl named Natalie, played by Elisabeth Harnois.

When I saw the trailer, I knew that it is really a very romantic film. I just love those scenes where Keith shows his weirdness because he tries to hide his real emotions. The cinematography isn’t that good but you’re gonna love it and I must say that JMac's acting is really great. One of the best that I saw this year. This must be in theaters! Really heart-breaking.

Tagay Pa!

2008-10-20T15:11:00.002+08:00

Lumalakas ang loob ng isang tao na gumawa ng isang bagay 'pag nakainom ngunit pagkagising niya, maiisip niya kung bakit niya nagawa iyon.

Tama man o mali, matatahimik siya.

Pero may dahilan kung bakit iyon nangyari.

Kasi nga, nakainom siya! Wala siya sa katinuan! May sapi siya ng dios espirito santo amen ng alak!

Paksyet!

Salamat sa pagpapaintindi niyan sa akin, Kuya Paul at Gideon. Halatang gawain niyo rin 'yan kaya alam ninyo! Hahahahaha! Charoz!

'Yun na lang 'yung iniisip ko na magandang paliwanag sa nangyari. At least, 'di ako blangko at parang tanga sa kakaisip kung bakit.

Lintek na kabayo 'yan! Dapat pala pinapainom muna kita 'pag nagkakaharap tayo.

Which is which? Help!

2008-10-17T06:48:00.001+08:00

"True love never surrenders. It might get tired, but a little rest is enough to love again even better, because true love would never complain, it will always find a way to understand pain."

or...

"No matter how much we love and care for a person, if we are uncertain of our position, there will be a point when the only thing certain is to give up."

Can you help me with this one? I need opinions with this matter.

I will appreciate whatever you guys will say.

Thanks!

Dancesports 2008

2008-09-18T09:59:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was probably one of the biggest days for me this 2008, the 3rd BPSU Orani Campus Dancesports Competition.

Actually, wala na akong plan to join the said competition. It's because I have gained so much weight and I know na mahihirapan na akong sumayaw with that. So, what we did was nagpa-audition kami sa mga BEEd students with our first choreographer. May mga napili siya kaso kulang ng isang girl so they forced me to join since I already have an experience with that kind of competiton. (We joined when we were 1st year college, 3rd in the group category and 2nd in the couple category.)

So, ayon, we started practicing but we were having problems with the other girl for a certain reason kaya pinalitan namin siya. Pati 'yung isang guy which was Sammy also backed out so Kuya Paul replaced him. After 2 days of practicing with our choreographer, we also decided na palitan siya because of professionalism matters. And same with the other girl, 'di sumisipot sa practice so we told Joana, our College Governor, to replace her. No choice na kaming dalawa. Governor and Vice Governor na lang ang sumali.

Our new choreographer was Mr. Jerry Baldeo, one of the most popular choreographers in town. As in. He is very professional and strict. Talagang madidisiplina ka when he will handle you but he is so cool. Sarap kasama!

I really felt like giving up kasi conflict na sa duties and responsibilities namin as college officers. Joana felt the same way but we really had no choice. Kesa nga naman walang entry 'yung college namin.

While rehearsing, naririnig na namin na ang galing ng HRM lalo na 'yung ACT. Talagang pinaghahandaan 'yung competition. HRM was the 1st winner followed by ACT last year. I must say that the four of us were really threatened 'pag nakikita namin 'yung moves ng 2 team na 'yun. Swabe gumalaw kaya lalo akong natakot for I will be the one to dance for the couple category with Gideon. He was also by the way my partner 2 years ago.

The day came. Chills running up and down our spine. Kuya Jerry was also the one who made our costumes and put our make-ups on. Oh 'di ba?! Kinarir niya na lahat! LOL.

Okay, ayaw ko nang pahabaiin ito. We won, both group and couple category. I must say that we really deserve it. Out of the 5 teams na nagcompete, ACT, HRM, 2 Yr. Trade Tech., BEEd and Lab. School, sa amin lang ang masasabi kong maayos kahit may kaunting sablay and I mean it.

Last words about this. Kuya Jerry, thanks po talaga! I learned a lot from you. We learned a lot from your sermon and pagdidisiplina. Sorry sa nasipa ko noong showdown. I have to do it because that's what our choreographer told us, balyahin ang humarang sa amin. Sa mga nagtatanong about the controversial scene, yeah, the kiss between me and Gideon was real and it happened for four times. At sa mga nagsasabing luto ang laban, sorry, we just gave our best.

Songs that we used for the group category:
Rumba - "Mahal Kita" by Maricris Garcia
Chacha - "El Diablo Anda Suelto" by Rey Ruiz
Jive - "Jim Dandy" by Black Oak Arkansas

He's Back

2008-09-15T18:02:00.001+08:00

I don't want to mention names in this entry so don't you guys dare to ask me.

I met him through a common friend of ours, his former classmate and a seminar batchmate of mine. We first met each other through text messages. You know, the usual exchange of messages, textmate thing.

He's nice... very nice. We can talk about anything and everything. Give the topic and he can handle it... a good conversationalist. He has a sweet but very manly voice. We regularly call and text each other. We even have an endearment!

After months of communicating like that, we finally met each other December of last year. He looks nice wearing his uniform.

But...

Two weeks after we met, he suddenly got lost. No more calls from him, even a single text message. Of course I wondered why. We had a nice time meeting each other even if it just lasted for minutes. "Didn't he like what I look?", "Am I looking terrible that day?" Some of the questions that bugged me. I was so worried about him. Maybe something wrong happened to him. I called him but he didn't answer them so I decided to stop and I just told myself that he didn't like me. Maybe he thinks that I'm ugly and that he's just shy to tell it to my face. There's another thing that helped me. I lost my phone, the one that I used when I'm talking to him. That made me realize that we are not meant to be closer.

That was 9 months ago.

September 10, 2008, the day after my birthday, I decided to text him again. I still have his mobile number on my other phone. Thanks to my dad for giving me his old phone.

I thought that he's not gonna reply so I didn't expect any response from him but he did. He asked me who I am so I just replied with our word of endearment. Yeah, he still remembers me. He's back.

He apologized for what he did... for leaving me without me knowing what his reason is. I tried to ask him but before he started to utter words, I told him not to mind it anymore. I don't wanna know his reason. I'm afraid.

Yeah, he's back, but not like what he was before. I can't figure it out. I dunno exactly what made me say that he has changed but one thing is for sure, he did.

Now, I'm trying to reconstruct our relationship. Hopefully he will be back to his old self. I missed him. I don't wanna lose him again.

My Birthday Bash

2008-09-12T16:43:00.000+08:00

September 9, 2008 - My birthday. Nothing special happened.

September 10, 2008 - Lots of special events happened.

Actually, I'm not planning to celebrate my 19th birthday (Yeah, I'm already 19!). I just want it to pass because I really don't feel like celebrating it. I'm damn busy rehearsing for our dancesports competition next week so I don't have time to celebrate it, even to think about it. But of course, surprises really come.

Wednesday morning, medyo nagdadalawang isip pa ako if I'm gonna throw a party for myself. Wala naman kaming practice that day so pwede but walang venue. I told Sam, Lena and Kuya Bayang about it then we were thinking where we are going to have it until Louie crossed my mind, na baka wala naman siyang pasok since it's raining very hard then. I texted him and asked him kung may pasok siya but he said na meron kaso he's feeling lazy and he thinks na baka i-dismiss lang sila so pumayag siya to have it celebrated in his place. Good thing wala na kaming class that afternoon. Ang bait talaga ni Dr. Tungol! Hahaha!

Lena and I went to the market to buy the foods that we are going to eat then went straight to Mommy Jo's place near Louie's house. 'Di na kasi makapasok 'yung tricycle sa looban kasi maputik na so naglakad lang kami. As usual, Sam came late and Kuya Bayang wasn't able to come kasi busy siya sa girlfriend niya.

It was just only me, Sam, Lena and Louie. Sila rin nagprepare ng foods while me, may kausap sa cellphone and taking pictures. We texted Gideon para sumunod siya at iyon, sumunod nga ang loko! Kinailangan pa na sunduin namin siya sa labasan. Lakad na naman ulit tuloy sa putikan! Sabay na rin sa pagbili ng alak. That celebration won't be nice kung wala 'yun. Hehehe.

Funny to think that while we were eating and drinking, we were watching a movie. Guess what that is! Bahay Kubo starring Maricel Soriano, Marian Rivera, Eric Quizon, Shaina Magdayao and a lot more. Oh, 'di ba?! Bagay na bagay 'yung movie sa okasyon!

Lena went home early kasi may meeting pa sila sa SK. Gideon and Sam sent her sa may labasan so naiwan kami ni Louie. Ayon, one on one sa Red Horse. I admit, nahilo ako! Taas magtagay! Nyahaha!

After the celebration, we went to my place. Naglakad kami from Louie's place to Orani Town Plaza to buy grilled chicken. Natatawa ako sa mga sinasabi ni Louie. Mula pagtayo ko sa kinauupuan ko sa house nila hanggang sa makarating ng plaza, he's saying na, "Ay oh! Ideretso mo lakad mo!" Syempre, I did lalo na nung nasa bahay na kami. Bawal 'yun! Dapat straight. We had our dinner there tapos tamang internet sina Sam and Gideon while Louie's playing with my little sister.

I really felt happy about what happened that day, and still feeling it. After almost 6 months of not seeing each other and having an unstable communication, finally nagkita na rin kami ulit ni Louie. ' Di ko nga siya nakilala agad kasi he seemed to be not like what he was before. I mean, nagmature na siya in a good way. I missed his kakulitan, his expressions, his smiles, basta 'yung mga 'yun. Ohh, asking who he is?! We were classmates when we were in grade 3, nawalan ng balita about each other and nagkita lang last year nung birthday ni Sam. I'm so happy to meet him again and to have him as one of my closest friends.

Of course, each story has a negative side. While the four of us were walking on our way to plaza, ilang beses na rin pa lang daan nang daan 'yung isang tao. Gideon and Sam told me na parang nagpapapansin na 'di mo malaman. Like what they say, sino ba namang matinong tao 'yung magagawa pang magstroll ganoong umuulan that time?! Well, I also saw him that night kaso dedma lang ako but Sam said na around 3 times siya balik nang balik. Like he's checking kung sino 'yung mga kasama ko. The hell I care! Bahala siya!

Gideon and Sam are right, "Kung sino 'yung nasa tabi mo, siya lang. Hayaan na 'yung iba."

What's New?

2008-07-22T18:05:00.001+08:00

It's been a week yata since I last posted an entry here. I was just really busy in school. Well, hanggang ngayon naman. We're still preparing for the upcoming acquaintance party of the College of Education. Wait! Paano nga pala ako na-involve sa preparation? Well, here's why.

I was walking around the campus with Lena, Sam and Bayang when Mayora, Joanna, approached me. She asked me if I can run as the governor for our college. Ayon, I was shocked kasi of all, ako pa naisip niya, eh, ni hindi man lang nga ako naging class officer since we were 1st year college then all of a sudden, she asked me to run for that position. Then biglang nagspark ang bulb of curiousity ko so I asked her why ako. Guess what she said! "Kasi, friend, parang 'di ko kaya!" then I asked her who is going to run as the vice and she said na wala pa so I told her na ako na lang 'dun and I will just back her up and she agreed naman. Oh 'di ba? Makapagpalusot lang! Haha.

Dumaan ang ilang araw hanggang sa araw na ng election for the college officers then nalaman namin na wala pala kaming kalaban. 'Musta naman pala 'yun?! Haha. Kaso dapat, 50% plus 1 'yung magiging result ng votes so talagang nag-election pa. In the end, kami pa rin naman 'yung umupo sa pwesto! Ang saya! What a healthy competition!

So, ayon, we planned for the party. Pahirapan sa pag-iisip ng concept then Genel came up with a very bright idea. First time in the history of BPSU, or even BPSC. Pajama party! Yeah, pambata! Eh, bakit ba?! Elementary education naman course namin so sakto lang!

Given na 'yung extra curricular activities for the campus. What else? Of course, the real thing! Academics na ang labanan. Report dito, report doon. Luto dito, presentation doon. I even had a day na tatlo 'yung report ko. Sunud-sunod na subject then the next day, dalawa naman! Ano ba naman 'yun?! Bakit 'di na lang nila ako patayin?! Haha. Aside from those, I also needed to make a research for Mr. Miguel, our Campus Director. Anything basta made of waste materials at hindi common. Well, lahat naman actually but I heard that most of my classmates are going to make preserved foods so I thought of something na hindi edible para maiba naman then I come up with the idea na gumawa ng doormat made from jackfruit's skin at ayon, successful naman but still needs to be improved so lahat kami ay uulit. Same product pero better na. I am also the leader of some groups in our class. Nakaka-badtrip lang kasi I gave them their report as early as I can then 'di sila ready for their report on the day that was given for us to do so. You gave them all the necessary things then kahit man lang effort to ask me if I already made the compilation of our report, wala! Asar, 'di ba?!

I know that you will guys think na kaunti pa lang ito compared to your experiences pero I must say that I am not really used to this. I admit na isa akong "parasite" noong highschool ako na umaasa sa pagkopya at gawa ng brainy kong friends and classmates but now, my world turned upside down. Ako na ang inaasahan at kinokopyahan. Nakakapanibago but I know that these are just simple things but they make me more responsible now.

Sa dami ng mga ginagawa ko, I think na napapabayaan ko na rin ang sarili ko, and my work as well. I'm getting fat again kasi sa kain ko na lang binabawi ang lahat ng pagod at puyat ko. Worst of all, wala na akong time for my lovelife! Naks! 'Yan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko, eh! Haha.

Why Not?

2008-06-24T07:12:00.001+08:00

Some say that if you have one thing, you can't have another. At first I did not get what that really means until one of my professors opened that topic in our Philosophy subject. Her line was "Kung swerte ka sa pag-aaral, malas ka sa pag-ibig at kung swerte ka sa pag-ibig, sa malamang 'di ka katalinuhan." Then I was thinking about what she said from that day on until now.

My friends said that the line best describes me. Why? They told me that I am one of the 'brainy' in our class (Nah, I don't think so. Sakto lang!) and that they noticed that all of the relationships that I entered didn't work. Laging may mali so they thought na malas nga ako when it comes to that field.

I was just wondering why you can not have both. Is that really a life policy or it just coincidentally happens? Why most of us can't get what we want? If that is the case, sana 'di na lang pala ako naging 'matalino' para may lovelife na 'ko! Syet! Haha.

Sabi nga nila, marami tayo na anak ng Diyos kaya dapat pantay-pantay. Haha.

Thoughts Just Now

2008-06-19T21:01:00.000+08:00

Grabe! Ang dami kong ginagawa lately; from projects, to assignments, to work. Ayawan na! Haha. I don't have time for myself anymore.

While I was working a while ago, I have read something on his Friendster profile and ng isang girl na 'di ko kilala. Ayon, I just though that I have made the right decision na isantabi na lang siya! Haha. So now, I am just focused on my career. (Wow, career daw!) Wala muna lovelife. Hindi naman makakabuti 'yun sa ngayon for me. Masisira lang lahat ng plano at diskarte ko 'dun. Haha.

For The Three Little Bears, I mean, my three loyal and solid friends namely Sammy a.k.a Applepie, Elena a.k.a Bruha and Kuya Bayang a.k.a Father;
"Huwag ninyo akong hamunin! Kung nagulat kayo na 7 months na akong single, pwes, I will make it 1 year or more! Masyado ninyo akong minamaliit porke't I'm the smallest among us! Hmmmffff! LOL."

For BEEd III;
"Walang titibag sa samahan natin ika nga ni Genel. Kaya natin 'yan kahit marami na tayong ginagawa. Sana lang mawala na 'yung kaplastikan, huh! Magpakatotoo na kayong lahat."

And for him;
"Rest in peace, dude! Nah, just kidding! Haha. I know that you are enjoying what you have now so just see you around!"

Bitter??? Not really.

What I Miss Part 2

2008-06-08T21:44:00.002+08:00

It has been just a week since I went back home and left all the Adiks there in Super Novaliches but I already miss all of them and the things that we usually do there.

Those are:

- The foods and beverages. The buy one, take one burger that we usually buy at 3 am, the lugaw and tokwa, cup noodles, Pringles, Sting, Cobra, coffee and C2.

-The Offices. Sir Benj and Ate Joanne's house, the office in Capri and the new one in Maries Village.

- The miscelleanous things. The sauna bed, the ghost stories, the picture taking events, the games that they are playing (Ehem. Sorry, guys! Haha!), the massive sounds (Mottaka, Boom Tarat-Tarat, Dr. Jones and Barbie Girl), the scary hallway and the spycam that is roaming now, the microwave and the electric kettle.

- The Adikz themselves:

- The bosses, Ate Joanne and Sir Benj.
- The makulit but mabait na si Kuya Frank.
- Si Ate Rem. (Where's my shawarma and my sandals???)
- Si Kuya Rom na nasa ibang country na. (Pasalubong!)
- Si Kuya Mark na magaling sumayaw! Hahaha.
- Si Kuya Nhokz na mahilig sa chicks. (Peace!)
- Ang picture editor na si Ate Zen.
- Ang pasaway at nuknukan ng kulit na si Lester. (Bawal aso! Shoooo!)
- Ang negosyanteng si Kuya Benny.
- Si Kuya Raymond na laging late at absent. Hahaha.
- Ang bis-eng nina Ate Aug at Ate Cha. (Galing nga, eh!)
- Ang layout artist na si John. (Tama na browse mo!)
- Si RR, este Ray pala na cute pero super kulit at pang-asar sa buhay.
- Si Kuya JC na mahilig din sa counter strike. (Hala, lagot!)
- Si Lei eggs na ka-birthday at "kapatid" ko.
- Ang mahilig magyoutube na si Kuya Janzen. (Pero hataw sa production!)
- Si Kuya Joel na tahimik lang. ('Di tayo nagka-bonding masyado.)

Saan si Ate Let and si Nico? Naku, lagi naman kami nagkakausap ni Ate Let and sawa na ako kay Nico! Hahaha!

See you all kapag araw ng sweldo! Ingat kayo! Just keep in touch with me.

Multiply

2008-06-02T04:14:00.003+08:00

Hey, guys! Please do visit my multiply account!

It's http://jenn09.multiply.com

or click HERE.

Thank you!

^_^

What The Heck Is Wrong?

2008-06-02T02:37:00.002+08:00

Bakit ba kadalasan, napapasok tayo sa isang sitwasyon na wala tayong ideya lung ano 'yung nangyayari at paano natin napasok ito? Wala kahit man lang warning. Nakakabadtrip 'di ba?

Parang 'yung nangyari ngayon. BLOCKED NA NAMAN ANG MAGAT! 2nd time na 'to ah! Wala man lang ako idea why it happened. I was checking my Imeem account then pag balik ko, naka- log out na! Punyemas! Sino na naman kaya ang may sala?? Mamaya pa magkakaalaman!

What I Miss

2008-05-31T05:07:00.006+08:00

It has been two months since I left our house in Bataan to work here in Quezon City. I rembered that before I left, my room is really all messed up... as in, with all the spider webs and all those stuff! It was actually like a house of a wicked witch! (Exagerrated???) But now, it is all clean. Thanks to Rhon who did the cleaning and he was also the one who set my new computer up. Waaah! Thank God that I have my own computer now! At least I won't have to go to the internet shops anymore and I already saw where my money went.

Anyways, back to the topic. Here are the things that I really miss:

- My family! All the noise, my mother's cooking, my dad's "bili mo nga ako ng sigarilyo" and "itimpla mo ako ng kape", every time that I will look for my li'l brother when he goes out and my li'l sis' voice! (Ganda si ate ko!) Haha. Hey, she's more talkative now! I'm so proud of her.

- My friends! Elena a.k.a. Bruha, my Applepie Sammy, Kuya Bayang who makes sermon to me (well, the first two do that as well to), patok na Louie, Sonny and Anthony who are always there for me when I need help about my kalokohan (Hey, you guys better bring me to Paluto again. I miss the girls there, too! Haha!) and my gay friend, Wheng! (Take that literally or what, it's up to you!)

- The Bacmatoda drivers! Who cares if I miss them especially the ones who are close to me?! I miss our school service, too! Classes will start again and I will see you all soon!

- The buddies that I have there in our village! All their pangungulit and calling me "Ate Jenn".

- Some of my schoolmates from different courses.

- Some of my classmates! Chosen few! God, I can count them using my hand fingers! But I also miss the pagpaplastikan and all that stuff. Haha!

- The nilagang mais, mangga with bagoong, iced tea and the foods that we usually buy in our school canteen.

- The road from school to plaza where we walk after class.

- The OSA office and people; Ms. Guided Counselor, Dr. Mom, Kuya Gelobee, the 'point-point' and Genel, of course!

- My school uniform! I guess that they won't fit me anymore. I believe that I gained weight but some said that I look thinner now than before.

- Watching TV! Damn, I can't manage to watch TV here! Working at night and sleeping in the morning.

- Hell yeah! Sleeping at nights! Oh my, I miss my pillow, my blanket and my stuff toys! (Some of them are from my former boyfriends. Collection??? Haha!)

- The lovers; Ate Riza and Kuya Caloy, Ikang, Kebong and their mom Ate Tess, the pagmumura of Aling Carmen, my night buddy Janice, Tita Connie for doing my nails and the istorbos; the people who buy yelo every now and then.

- Hey, who was the first person that I have mentioned in this entry??? Yeah, I miss him a lot! He knows that! Haha. My personal technician! Chatting on YM and Friendster comments are not enough for me! (The song and the food will be so soon! Are you excited about that? Haha!) Last on the list but definitely not the least!

I will be back in Bataan in a week so I am looking forward to see them all!

You'll Always Be My Baby

2008-05-05T05:43:00.007+08:00

Are you guys watching the 7th season of American Idol? Me? I do, but I miss some episodes of the said show due to my work. This is actually the first ever season that I am addicted to! The Idols are really good especially the two Davids, Cook and Archuleta. But who do I like better? Well, it has to be the rocker, David Cook.

He is really great. I mean, all the songs that he sang are all so good! He has his own style and his song arrangements are really nice. Here is the song that I love best (for now) that he sang. I was really surprised when I found out that he will do Mariah Carey's Always Be My Baby. Imagine, a guy who would sing that song! Well, he did it in a very manly way and the judges' comment to his performance are all praises. I just watched it on Youtube. Love it!

Here is the lyrics of the said song. Hope you guys are also going to love it as well! ^_^

Always Be My Baby
originally by Mariah Carey
version of David Cook

We were as one, babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I’ll let you fly
‘Cause I know in my heart
Our love will never die, no

You’ll always be a part of me
I’m part of you indefinitely
Girl, don’t you know you can’t escape me
Ooh darling ‘cause you’ll always be my baby
And we’ll linger on
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re ever gonna shake me
Oh darling, ‘cause you’ll always be my baby

I ain’t gonna cry
And I won’t beg you to stay
If you’re determined to leave, girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably, you’ll be back again
‘Cause you know in your heart babe
Our love will never end

I know that you’ll be back, girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder
I know that you’ll be right back baby
Oh baby believe me it’s only a matter of time

Workaholic

2008-04-28T05:39:00.002+08:00

I am asking for apology to my readers (if I have) if it took me so long before I post another entry in here. It is because I am now having my summer job here in Quezon City as an operator.

Well, I must say that I am really enjoying this work that I have now although I am having headaches because of my shift. I am working from 10 pm-6 am but sometimes I go to the office earlier and gets home late! Good thing that the two guys that I am working with at the same shift, John and Lei are very talkative that is why I am not getting too sleepy there. LOL!

It is really fun talking to different kinds of people. It was kinda "culture shock" for me at first but as time goes by, I am getting used to it. I am learning some life lessons through them that I have never thought of before. As for the people around me here, or the so called Adiks, I must say that they are nice. We actually came to Subic a few days ago for our company outing. I think that we all enjoyed our 2 days and 1 night stay there. Then they came to my house in Bataan to eat lunch. My mom prepared sinigang na sugpo and inihaw na bangus for them which I guess they enjoyed.

As of this moment, I am feeling sleepy and my head kinda aches. Lack of sleep indeed.

Oh my! I really miss sleeping at nights!

Happy Anniversary

2008-01-10T15:18:00.003+08:00

January 11, 2007, Elena's birthday, at around 4:30 in the afternoon, an unexpected accident happened.

I was with Nikko then, my former boyfriend. He taught me how to drive a motorcycle. He let me drove it on our way back home. Because we were both in a hurry, I drove it fast knowing that the gauge read 80 km/hr. I saw that we're about to hit a tall bush so I stepped on the foot break and pulled the hand break and boom, I don't remembered what happened next.

I was numb. I just remembered that I told Nikko to take me home so he did. I didn't know that my entire body is already full of blood. I dunno what's going on while we're on our way to my place. I just heard the people around us screaming. When we reached the basketball court near our house, I heard the guys there shouting as if they're rushing. I can't see anything. Everything's so blurred as if it was just a dream.

I found myself lying down on a bed in the emergency room. There, I saw my ex-boyfriend with blood on his arms. I didn't know that mine is even worse. Mom was also there wearing a sad face. She told me what happened and what my damages are. When I looked at my arms, my wounds seemed like a 3rd degree burn. I had stitches on my left hand, right knee and upper lip. I know my face was also damaged but they didn't let me see it because they think that I'll 'die' if I get to see it.

Mom can't stay overnight in the hospital because of my siblings so Wheng volunteered himself, or should I say herself to accompany me there with Nikko. Rhon was one of my first visitors. Prior to these incident, I asked Genesis to tell Rhon that I met an accident but it was just a joke and the last was so worried upon hearing the 'bad news'. Who would have thought that it will really happen?!

My first night in the hospital is very memorable. (Well, my four-day stay in the hospital is indeed worth remembering.) The tension heated up. I was sitting on my bed, infront of me was Wheng, on my left was Nikko and on my right was Rhon. Wheng said "Ano ba 'yan?! Ang taas ng tensyon dito! 'Di ko kaya!". Imagine, sitting between two men in my life, to think that my boyfriend then was very jealous of the other guy. Rhon was the one who fed me. Nikko can't do so because of his wounded hands. Tensyon nga naman 'di ba?! Asking if he's also a former boyfriend?! Nah, he's not. Let's just say that the people around us saw our closeness in the wrong way, including me. Damn! Nakakatawa na lang! *hahaha*

My classmates visited me on my next days. They didn't expect that I'm worse than what they think. I asked them to hand me a mirror but they didn't want to because they're afraid that I might be hysterical if I'll see my face but then, they handed me one. Honestly, I wasn't that shocked. What I think is actually worse. Well, my face seemed like Iza Calzado's face in Impostora, half burned.

Asking where my dad is? He attended a seminar somewhere in Ortigas then. He was so mad at my mom because she gave me the key. I was so afraid because I know my dad might kill me if he's just there. He just visited me on my 3rd day in the hospital. Surprisingly, he hugged and kissed me, same goes to my mom. Good thing he attended that seminar.

I really blamed myself at first. I felt sorry to my parents and also to Nikko. I know I was the one to blame. I just told myself that I have to be well soon because it was our midterm examination that time. I was just absent for 10 days.

Everything that had happened a year ago is just a part of my dark past. It left nothing but scars, marks that will always remind me of my carelessness. Not that I'm bragging but I think I look and feel a lot more better than before. Some even said that I became prettier after the accident. *hahaha* Well, past is past.

Ariba!

2007-12-21T13:13:00.000+08:00

After the freaking Christmas school dance, Elena and I went infront of JRI (Jose Rizal Institute) to see her boyfriend and some boys of Tau Gamma Phi. They usually hang out in that particular area almost every night.

We just stayed there for a couple of minutes and the guys sent us home. It was really fun while we're on our way to my place... laugh trip. They stayed for almost an hour in our house. There, we ate, laughed, laughed and laughed. Tamang kwentuhan. Dodong and Wilson even asked me to put black nail polish on their fingernails. I was really laughing so hard when Wilson said "Kuha ka muna ng ano... ace... acetylene, ayon!" but what he really wants to say is acetone. What makes me laugh more is the way he laughs. Gosh, if you'll just hear it! It's like a... a... Well, I can't really describe it! *hahaha*

Actually, that was my first bonding moment with them. I love talking to them because they made me laugh the whole time we're together because of their funny stories. I told them some creepy stories about our place and they're all like "P*&%#@$+a mo, 'wag ganon!" but instead of getting mad at them, I just laughed and told them "Ang tatapang ninyo sa away tapos sa multo, duwag na kayo." Seems like we're all really close. I dunno pero ang gaan ng loob ko sa kanila. Of course, only one blood runs in our veins, dugong TRISKELION.

I was shocked when Elena said "Ngayon lang ulit kita narinig na tumawa nang ganyan pagkatapos ng lahat ng pinagdaanan mo" so I asked myself, "How come she said that? Am I really broke in the past months?"

I dunno what the heck is going on with my life. I thought that I'm already getting numb because of all the tragedies that had happened to me. I didn't expect that my 'brothers' will make me forget my dilemma even in just a few hours of being together.

I already miss them! I'm really looking forward to be with them again soon.

The Year That Was

2007-12-19T16:56:00.001+08:00

These are some of the special events in my life for the year 2007.

January
11- Elena's birthday/I met a motor accident where I almost died/matinding tensyon sa hospital room because he and my boyfriend then were there

February
- nothing special happened this month

March
??- start of the summer vacation (yipee!)
??- his graduation day (so proud of him!)
26- my little brother's birthday

April
19-22- I attended a seminar in Ortigas (212! 212!)
??- the whirlwind relationship came to its end (drama!)
29- Angelee's send-off party and Azenith's debut party (party people!)

May
??- Angelee left us (awww... sad!)

June
??- back to school (excited!)
26- I joined a certain sorority (ouch!)

July
13- my dad's birthday
22- yet another whirlwind relationship started (naman kasi, eh!)

August
01- my mom's birthday

September
09- my 18th birthday (of legal age na! *wahaha*)
16- my debut party (stressful indeed)
17-21- school intramurals (flop! first day lang 'yung masaya!)
22- my little sister's birthday

October
15- his birthday
??- 4A '05-'06 semi-reunion (tamang takutan at inuman sa bahay namin)

November
01- the 'reaction' (almost cried)
??- the break up (yes! finally!)

December
19- Christmas school dance (yet another flop!)
20- BEEd II's swimming Christmas party (didn't enjoy that much)
23- I've waited for him but he didn't come (that sucks!)
24- wedding of the year (weeeh! Mrs. Kaw!)
25- he's in our house (well, 'di masyadong happy!)
26- wanna forget this day! (drama! sucks!)
30- huling bagsakan ng inuman with Sonny, Anthony, Elena and Cylyn

Whew! My memory is getting dull. Maybe I already need to take some memory enhancer.

I would like to say thank you to all my fans, supporters and sponsors. *hahaha*

Serious now. First, I would like to thank God for giving me another year of living and for everything that he has given me.

I also wanna say thank you and sorry to my loving parents and to my little brother and sister, also to Elena, Sonny and Anthony for being there for me always and to all those people who made a grand entrance and a favorable exit in my life.

Hope that this year will be a better one for all of us. I love you all!

Take a Bow

2007-12-13T14:01:00.000+08:00

One week after Christmas, another year will be added into our lives. Another chapter of our book will be printed. They say that new year is the start of a new life. Time to leave the hurtful past and to refresh ourselves.

Some do their new years resolution a week before the big bang. Gosh, that's a long list of things to dos and don'ts for the coming year. I also have things about me that I would want to change but I don't wanna be frustrated if I didn't get to do them. I just think about the past and look for the answers for my problems that I want to be resolved. One of them is again, about Sir.

This coming year I'll try not to communicate with him, even a ring or send him an SMS. I'll try not to check his Friendster profile. I'll delete him on my featured friends list. I won't post any entry here regarding him. Hindi na talaga ako magpaparamdam sa kanya. Sana lang kaya ko.

Obviously, I haven't moved on yet. I'll just do this for my own sake. Maybe after months of 'ignoring' my own feelings, I'll finally get to move on.

I really love him but I think it's time for me to stop this stupidness. This 'tragic' event in my life caused me so much pain already. I don't wanna be stucked in the past forever. I'll move on even if it tears my heart. He just ignores me so I guess it's time for me to do the same thing. Time to make the unfair reality fair.

"I've always been inlove with you
I guess you've always known it's true
You took my love for granted, why oh why?
The show is over, say goodbye..."

All I Want For Christmas

2007-12-11T15:19:00.000+08:00

The time of the year is fast approaching. People are already preparing for their parties, out of town trips, gifts, etc. Of course, yours truly is also thinking of the things that I want for Christmas.

I'm not the materialistic type of person. I'm not after the price of the gifts that one will give me. Believe it or not, I treasure the cheaper ones more. At least, the person who gave me inexpensive gifts remembered me. I'd rather buy the things that I want than to have it as a gift.

Well, all I want for Christmas is him but I know that it's impossible. He's really 'expensive'. I bet he won't greet me this Christmas. Siya pa! Himala na lang kung maalala ako ng taong 'yun! I will thank all the saints if he did!

Malaki na ang tampo ko sa kanya. He didn't come to my debut party last September, worse, he didn't greet me a happy birthday, kahit sa text man lang! He made me and his friends worried because he didn't answer our texts and calls that night. He didn't even apologize and explain to me what happened to him. Nakakaasar 'di ba?!

Even though he did that, even if didn't apologize, I still love him. I'm really blinded by this fucking thing called love. Binabalewala na nga, sige pa rin! May ibang tao na nga akong nasasaktan because of him, eh! Nyeta naman talaga kasi, oh!

He Wants Me To Die!

2007-11-24T11:32:00.001+08:00

Just recently, I talked to another clanmate of mine, Earnest John Jarquio a.k.a Cloud, also from Fantasy Clan. We talked about ghosts and he’s really crazy about it. I’ve told him some of my friends’ ghostly encounter but he’s not after the creepy stories. Believe it or not, he’s after the ghosts’ fashion sense.

Yes, he wants to know if ghosts are also fashionable. He keeps on asking me why they always wear white and what style their dresses are. He wants to see them wearing multi-colored outfits. He even wants to talk to them so I told him that if I die, I’ll always visit him and guess what he told me; “agahan mo, ha!” He even said that if I’m gonna visit him, I should be in stylish clothes and I should go dramatically with all those creepy special effects, just like in movies. That’s really crazy!

I don’t wanna die this early. I can only die if I already had my revenge. Of course, I wanna travel the world, to be rich and successful, to be married to the one that I really love, to have kids and to play with my grandchildren. As a commercial says, “I want to be complete.” But for him, it’s better to die young and to depart without legacy. His ideal dying age is betwen 25 to 30 years old. I dunno what’s running in his mind but as usual, kanya-kanya lang ‘yan!

Describing Cloud, he’s such an intelligent person, goodlooking, has a great sense of humor, hard-headed, wacky, crazy and, absolutely weird. How can’t I say that he’s weird after all the things that he told me and the things that he’s eager to know. He’s willing to have his 3rd eye opened because he wants to know if ghosts aren’t baduy. He also wanna ask them why they wear certain attires.

Don’t worry, Cloud, if I’ll die now, I’ll definitely do what you want me to do. I’ll wear signatured and designer clothes, complete accessories, and, nice pair of shoes for your viewing pleasure; for your eyes only. I’ll visit you in times that you are alone so that you can talk to me one on one. I’ll be the most beautiful ghost that you’ll ever see, I swear that!

Now, I know someone who wants me to die but for a reason that I whole-heartedly accept. He’s my friend after all so I’m more than willing to grant his wish. Just wish that I’ll go first.

“When one is cursed, two graves are dug.”

More Than Words

2007-11-24T11:30:00.001+08:00

This is a compilation of my friends’ 'quotable quotes' that really made me laugh. I don’t care if they sound corny for you.

“I’m not cared!” - Maridel Castro
“Ok, class. Picture talking tayo!” - Mrs. Alicia Ocampo
“Oh! Picture talking daw para may remember!” - Mr. Dionisio Celso
“Outchide! Inchide!” - Mrs. Alicia Ocampo
“So what’s up naman for me?” -4A ‘05-’06 boys
” Ano ba ‘yan? Future education ka pa man din!” - Lhai Felisilda
“Tawag niya po kayo. Opo. Siya po ‘yun, eh. ‘Di naman po ako.” - Hercel Ramos
“Tell me now…” (never ending “tell me now” from the song “Tell me where it hurts”) - 4A ‘05-’06 girls
“Uy! Ang ganda ng song na ‘My Love’ ‘noh? ‘Yung my love, it’s been a long time since I cried and left you out of the blue…” (she means the song ‘Same ground’) - Estella Marie Dayan Capule
“Ready, fire.” (in a really soft voice) - Michelle Guevarra
“I’m high!” (instead of aim high) - Adronico Miguel
“Don’t shy.” - 4A ‘05-’06 girls
“Bakit ba ako nang ako ‘yung tinatawag mo? Ako lang ba ang estudyante mo? ‘Di ako interesado sa subject mo! Kaya lang ako pumapasok dito dahil sa’yo!” - Genel Llanes

There are more of these but I just forgot them.

My Stuff… Toys!

2007-11-24T11:29:00.002+08:00

Recently, I received a lot of gifts for my 18th birthday. Some gave towels, clothes, bags, accessories and cute little figurines but what I love the most are those huggable stufftoys.

They come in different colors, sizes, and forms. I really love seeing them because they bring out the child in me so I put them on my bed together with six other pillows that I use while I’m in dreamland. Imagine how I sleep thinking that my bed is so small.

The largest among them was given to me by Gerald, my ex-boyfriend (hey, we’re good friends now. Swear!). It’s a teddy bear with the message “Hug Me” printed on it. Michelle, a very good friend of mine from highschool gave me one. Funny because it’s like what Gerald gave me but it’s just the smaller version. One is I dunno if it’s a pig or a dog. I still can’t figure it out. It was given to me by Tita Nancy, my friend’s mom. Another one is a heart-shaped stuff which says “Love puts a smile in your face and a song in my heart.” It was given to me by another former boyfriend, Jhay (no comment about him). Ann Jelie and Herlene, my highschool classmates gave me a violet rectangular stuff. Yeah, obviously it’s a pillow.

But what I treasure the most is the Spongebob stufftoy that yet another ex-boyfriend gave me, Nikko (he’s still mad at me so I better not say anything). He gave it to me last January 3. It’s actually his Christmas gift for me but he wasn’t able to give it to me on Christmas day because he was in Marikina that time with his family. It’s really huge and he made me carry that around our campus. Okay, enough of this. I know he’ll react if he will just get to read this.

As i write this thing, I’m staring at my lovely and precious stufftoys and thinking when I will receive a new one.

I love hugging them all especially the one in the middle.

I Tried So Hard and Yet So Far

2007-11-24T11:29:00.001+08:00

Blog… Delete. Blog… Delete.

I’ve been doing these two things since I was in junior high. I’m having a hard time on creating a nice blog that would pass the taste and standards of some professional bloggers out there.

Honestly, until now, I still don’t know how to use those HTML codes. I just know the basics but when it’s getting complicated, I’ll just copy the code from a hosting website then paste it on my page. My eyes are like bouncing balls whenever I try to understand those codes.

Topic wise, I’m also damn zero on it. I’m having a hard time thinking of topics to post here. I’m a writer but you have to squeeze my brain first before you can get its juice. I can’t do an on-the-spot article. I still really need my pen and my scratch notebook before my fingers do the job on the keyboard so I usually have my kodigo everytime I write an entry here.

Waaaaahhh! I badly need help! Heavens, gods, goddesses, saints, help me! I’m getting desperate over here. I know time will come that I’ll improve but when is that time?!

Yeah, right! Patience is a virtue and now, I’m starting all over again.

To Whom It May Concern (Ang Tamaan, GUILTY..!)

2007-10-23T10:54:00.000+08:00

This is my first ever entry here so this has to be intense.

I'm not pretty... I'm just cute. I'm not intelligent either... I'm just smart. I'm not the type that one should be envious of but I really dunno why there are some people who are very insecure of me.

All the things that you are telling me is not a slap on my face. You are just proving me the saying "binabato talaga ang isang puno kapag marami itong bunga." I don't get hurt sa mga ginagawa ninyo against me. Well, yes, I'm affected... Affected in the sense na natatawa at naaawa na lang ako sa inyo. Ang taas ng insecurity level ninyo sa akin. You guys just make me feel na isa akong sikat na artista na binabato ng mga intriga ng press na walang magawang matino at trip manira ng ibang tao. Ang ganda ko, grabe! Saka na lang kayo magalit kapag kasing ganda ko na kayo or kapag mas maganda na kayo sa akin. Hating me won't make you pretty, my dear.

If you guys think na masisira at masasaktan ninyo ako sa mga ginagawa ninyo, to tell you honestly, wa-epek! You know why? Kasi nagkamali kayo ng taong sisirain. My life is already all messed up. Sa dinami dami ba naman ng mga kalokohang ginawa ko sa buhay ko since bata pa ako, wala na sa akin 'yan. You are just wasting you're time on me. Kayo lang ang gumagawa ng ikasisisra ninyo. Well, kung masaya kayo sa mga ginagawa ninyo, talaga pa lang nakakaawa kayo. Ang babaw ng kaligayahan ninyo!

Isa pa, I have my friends and family behind me. They are the ones who truly know who the real me is. Hindi sila naniniwala sa mga sabi lang ng ibang tao lalo na if they know na walang kwenta iyon. They love and accept me for being me. Kahit ano pa ang gawin ko, I know that they are just there for me. I have genuine friends and when I say genuine, 'yun na 'yun! Siguro naman alam ninyo what that word means. They are always with me kahit ups and downs pa 'yan. Why? Because I'm not meant to be alone!

We choose how we see people. When we want to like someone, we can be so tolerant but when we want to be irritated by them, we focus on their faults. It's not other people's behavior that determines how we feel about them. It's our attitude. Yes, attitude and let me repeat that. ATTITUDE!

I don't wanna mention your names not because I don't have the courage to do so but not like what you are doing, ayaw kong manira ng ibang tao. I'm trying to lessen my revengeful attitude but once na pagkatao ko na 'yung sinagasaan, naggiging masama ako... Masama pa sa inaakala ninyo.

The truth hurts. Do you know the meaning of the word "accept"? That's the thing that you are lacking, eh! Learn to accept everything for they are meant to be.

Guys, we have our own lives where we should set our minds on. Kanya-kanya lang 'yan! Kung ayaw mong pakialaman ka at may masabi sa iyong 'di maganda, huwag ka ring makialam at manggulo ng buhay ng may buhay. Let others live. Kung 'di lang din naman maganda 'yung sasabihin mo, better shut up. Just keep it to yourself. Some thing are better left unsaid.

I'm not trying or pretending to be nice here. If you think so, then thank you! At least kahit sa pagprepretend nagagawa kong maging nice! Siguro 'di mo kaya 'yun noh?! My dear, part of me is an actress so it's easy for me to do stuffs like pretending. I just simply know how to carry myself.

Thank you nga pala sa mg tulad ninyong walang magawang matino. Kundi dahil sa inyo, I'm not gonna be strong. Ayaw ko ring matulad ang buhay ko sa inyo so I set you as an example of mga taong magugulo ang buhay na halos isuka na ng kapwa nila dahil sa mga kasamaan nila. Sorry rin nga pala kasi instead of making my life miserable, naggiging colorful pa ito. Buhay lang ninyo 'yung ginagawa ninyong miserable, not mine.

Oh, before I forget... GET A LIFE..!